The Cost of Cremated Ashes: Dad Nose Best A New Cocaine Substitute – Keith Richard’s Marketing Expertise’ – a parody of abuse

THE ROLLING STONE'S KEITH RICHARDS MAYBE SNORTED HIS DAD THE TABLOIDS HAVE COMMENTED AND THERE SEEMS TO BE CONTROVERSY REGARDING WHETHER IT WAS TRUE OR NOT.  CastMD CONTINUES TO DIG INTO THIS ISSUE WITH CLARITY AND REASON.  BUT INQUIRING BRAINIACS WANT TO KNOW THE NUMBERS……..SO HERE THEY ARE ! 

Theory:

Average cremation remains = 3700 grams

Crackdowns on producers and smugglers of cocaine in Colombia and the United States have caused the wholesale price of the drug to rise sharply, according to officials of the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency. A kilogram, 2.2 pounds, of cocaine that cost a dealer $15,000 six months ago now costs $25,000 to $30,000, Frank Chellino, a spokesman for the agency's Miami office, said. (NYT 4-5-07)

 

The common street selling price of cocaine hydrochloride powder is $80-$100 per gram. The purity of the drug is TYPICALLY diluted by dealers wanting to increase the volume of the cocaine to multiply profits. Popular "cutting" agents include lactose, inositol, mannitol, lidocaine, and even cornstarch, talcum powder, or sugar.  NOW YOU CAN CUT WITH DAD'S ASHES !!!

 

 

 

 

 Freebase cocaine is cocaine without its water-soluble component, or "base." It is prepared by prepping cocaine hcl with an alkali, and separating the cocaine from its impurities. The preparation of freebase cocaine involves the use of highly flammable solvents such as ether. "Crack" or "rock" cocaine is the street name given to freebase cocaine processed from cocaine hydrochloride to a base, then using a base and heating it to remove the hydrochloride. The resulting mixture is allowed to harden, then broken into small pieces or rocks, which can be easily smoked in a pipe. The term "crack" refers to the crackling sound made when the mixture is smoked.

Therefore:

30,000 dollars divided by 1000 grams is 30 dollars a gm wholesale.  Yet the retail prices vary, but about the 100 dollars a gram retail street value.

3700 grams of cremation remains is 370,000 dollars of cocaine equivalency in weight. 

The most popular method of use is to separate the powder into fine "lines" of approximately 1/4 gram, 4-6 inches long. A small straw is then used to "snort" the cocaine into the nose.

3700 divided by 1/4 gm per line is:

14,800 lines of cremation-dad cocaine-substitute ! 

Now, a direct cremation cost noted on the web was:

Direct Cremation Service : $625.00*

Therefore:

Cost of cremation divided by 3700 grams of cocaine substitute is 625 / 3700 = 0.1689 dollar/gram

SUMMARY:

IF YOU BUY COCAINE YOU WILL BE PAYING 80-100 DOLLARS RETAIL FOR ONE GRAM

USE CREMATION-DAD COCAINE-SUBSTITUTE  AND YOU WILL PAY ONLY 17 CENTS PER GRAM

IF YOU DO DRUGS, YOU DO THE MATH…BUT DON'T SNORT DAD-SNOW. 

 

 

 

One Response to “The Cost of Cremated Ashes: Dad Nose Best A New Cocaine Substitute – Keith Richard’s Marketing Expertise’ – a parody of abuse”

  1. Sis says:

    What a Riot!!…please send my cut of the royalties within 24 hrs…!!!
    Busy day at church, eh??

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